Fat Tuesday: Weighting For Godot

It has been several months since The Health Scare That Was Mostly In My Head.  This blessing in wolves' clothing was the final push necessary to affect change. The good news is that the time it is taking to lose weight is lightyears faster than the time it took to gain it.  The bad news is, I still have a ways to go.

I gained weight gradually.  Maybe, a pound or two a year.  

It's easy.  You just sit there.

The weight finds you.

Every couple of years, my pants would go from fitting well, to getting tight, to fitting well again, to not fitting.  It wasn't till the second time it happened that I realized the fitting well again stage was just my waistline moving south.

The secret to my success is not rocket science.  I do the following:
  1. Exercise:  Not even that much.  I try to go 2-3x a week for 30 minutes.
  2. Eat More Good Stuff:  Salads.  Chicken.  Fish.  
  3. Eat Less Bad Stuff: Red Meat.  Pork.  Fat.  Pork Fat.  
  4. Eat Out Less:  For me, restaurants means fatfuckery.  I order more to hit delivery minimums, and I order poorly.  Also, at restaurants, I get an extra course and I tend to eat bread and butter.
  5. Eat Less: A corollary to #4, eating at home means smaller amounts of food.
Three months ago,  I was surfing the line between obese and morbidly obese.  Today, I am fucking thrilled to report that I am surfing the line between overweight and obese.

The weight loss will hopefully continue and I will be surfing the line between average and overweight.  If it continues past that, I'll be between average and underweight.  If it continues past that, don't just stand there, give me a foie gras donut topped with bacon.

Fu-uck m-e.


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